Never Going Down, Never Giving Up
by xxPunkRockxx
Summary: Life in general sucked, but it paid to not be miserable all the time. Semi-fluffy?


**- Never Going Down, Never Giving Up -**

****_"It's like screaming and no one can hear.  
_

_You almost feel ashamed that someone could be that important,  
_

_That without them, you feel like nothing.  
_

_No one will ever understand how much it hurts.  
_

_You feel hopeless, like nothing can save you.  
_

_And when it's over and it's gone,  
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_You almost wish you could have all the bad stuff back..._

_So that you could have the good."  
_

__- Rihanna

* * *

When had the universe become such a lonely place? It was something he asked himself often, now that he had lost everything that he'd ever loved and cared about. Inside he felt empty; it was as if someone had carved out all his innards and there was nothing left. No beating heart, no inhaling and exhaling through his lungs.

_Nothing._

Lying there staring at the ceiling, the younger and second Lockon tried his best to contemplate how things could become so awry in life, and yet he came up with no answer. There was nothing reasonable that he could sort out in his head to explain all the pain he had gone through since childhood, all the loss he had endured over years, decades.

Life sucked. End of story.

Then again, unlike some of the crew of the Ptolemy, Lyle tended to hide his problems and emotions. There were times they showed through, such as beating the living shit out of Setsuna after Anew's death, but for the most part he kept them locked inside the cold, iron box that was his heart.

There were times weakness had taken him over and he contemplated that the only good decision he could make would be to die. After those thoughts, he would always laugh; they were nothing but foolish. Even if everyone else was dead, he was living, and not without purpose. One day he would see them all again, and then it would be worth it.

"Are you okay?" a soft voice piped up, pulling him from his thoughts and causing him to look straight into the face of the pink-haired girl eying him with a worried expression. Feldt was a charming young lady, no doubt, but he could never think of her as more than a friend and teammate. Her blatant interest and feelings for Neil only helped to assure that.

"I'm fine," he reassured her, waving a hand dismissively. "Just lost in my head."

Feldt pouted in concern, but quickly drew herself back together as not to look childish. Since he had met her she had changed quite a bit; either way, whether it was years ago or yesterday, he could see what his brother would have seen in her.

It was almost disappointing that things couldn't be different. Not bad, just...disappointing. They had their own priorities, pasts, and other things that kept their relationship - whatever that happened to be - from being more than it was.

Regardless of the fact that Feldt still stood in the doorway, he found himself laughing at his thoughts. Lyle had no romantic inclinations towards the young woman, but for some reason his thoughts were drifting in that direction. Loneliness was eating him alive, and being in the company of someone so sincere and pure pushed his thoughts into said direction.

Stupid, really.

"You're not alright, are you?"

She was calling him out on it. Feldt had no reason to hold back her opinions or observations, and for the most part she didn't. Looking up at her, he studied her face, her mouth twisted into a frown.

"Not really, but I'll be fine. I'm always fine in the end."

Her blue eyes softened and looked away, staring at nothing in particular. He could tell it wasn't the answer she had been looking for, that she wanted to be there for him; possibly because she believed everyone else was there for _her _and it was the right thing to do.

He stood up, stretching his arms above his head and aimed to walk past her. As he reached her though, he stopped, placing a hand on her wavy pink hair.

"Don't worry about me. You have a life of your own to focus on."

Feldt's expression didn't change much if at all, and she heaved a sigh.

"I know, I just..."

It had been quite some time since she had figured out the difference between Neil and him, but the way she was acting made him feel like that realization had regressed and she was blurring them once more. Before he could make his assumptions, she spoke again.

"I just want to be there, in some way. It's different, but at one point you and I shared some feeling of mutual loss, right? I feel like I understand you somehow, like..."

He was laughing. She was cute.

He dropped an arm and wrapped it around her shoulders, giving her a half-assed hug.

"You're far too young to be worrying so much. You've done enough for me."

As he withdrew his arm from her, she glanced up at him curiously, not fully understanding what he meant.

"How?"

"You managed to keep me from sinking into my thoughts. That's good enough, right? Now quit being so concerned and go do something productive. See Setsuna or something..."

Feldt scowled at the mention of the other meister's name and he laughed at this, too. Even though it was blatantly obvious that the two kids had interest in one another, neither of them liked to openly acknowledge it.

He patted her head lightly and began off into the corridor, heading to his room for the night.

"Thank you."

* * *

**Yes, it probably isn't the best thing I could have produced, but I wanted to write _something_, and it happened to be Lyle angst lol.**

**I adore Feldt. Therefore she needed to be a part of the fic.  
**

**Hopefully this was decent enough to garner someone's approval/liking. Review?  
**


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